Derailed: Part Three of Three

Getting Back on Track

Metal wheels spinning on steel rails, with a rhythmic sound that is soothing to hear as I sit with my laptop writing this blog. Only now, the sound is from a Youtube recording of train sounds, so I can listen to that hypnotic rhythm whenever the mood strikes me. And according to that channel, 175,000 other people also enjoy listening to it. I wonder how many of them are finding new voices in their head that send a positive message?

Don’t stay stuck in the moment. Keep moving forward. Stay in motion, but make good choices. I now have these thoughts running through my mind, with the hope they will keep me from mentally going off the rails again. I have also chosen to only allow people into my life that make me a better person. A giving person. A wise person. A person who understands how to be humble. A person who knows that it will be okay in the end, whatever that may be. This is how I’m getting back on track. Back to my old self that believed anything was possible if you just work hard enough. It’s time to go from derailed, to the little engine that can, and will succeed. Whatever form that takes, however long it takes. 

That last part is the hardest. Wanting instant gratification gets in the way of having enough patience to wait long, but I have to remember that waiting promotes personal growth in a lesson that really can not be learned any other way. 

I’ve also learned that sometimes my expectations get in the way. Expecting to be at a certain place in life at a certain age. Marriage, kids, career. Life doesn’t run on a schedule, and who knows where the next station is and when we’ll arrive. But maybe it’s better to just embrace the adventure of it all. Without getting stuck in a moment, new opportunities for personal growth can be realized. 

I wrote this to share my struggle and reach out to others who may be going through a similar struggles. Please feel free to contact me to share your story.